A note to dogbloggers:

You're being really boring these days.

That is all.

Irritable Bowel Syndrome: Where Dogs and Humans meet - An Audrey Story

It has come to the attention to your tireless authors that one of the DogBloganistas, Audrey herself, may have bowel issues.

No we're not talking about worms or farts (see "Murray" below) but in fact, explosive Cartman-esque aqueous bowel movements.

Your authors were informed of Audrey's incident via our anonymous tip-line, dogblogwatch@gmail.com which you can send any tips you may have on DogBlogs, Dogs featured on DogBlogs, or DogBlog bloggers, and we'll guard your identity.

It would seem that Audrey was visiting with several dogs a few months ago, and caused a near-panic in the Olympia park-scape when instead of dispensing compacted and yet potent dog waste piles, Audrey unleashed a torrent of fecal calamity in the park, frightening all but the most disturbed picnic goers.

We were later informed that after a few days had past, unconfirmed reports tell of another decimation occurring in Audrey's primary residence with her owner/inter-species life mate.

With such a lack of decorum and self restraint (we're told the bathroom facilities were a mere brisk moment's walk away), we wonder just what does Audrey think of her owner, and her owner's social acquaintances, when such performances occur.

Google searches fail to indicate whether or not grinding up immodium tablets or splashing a little pepto-bismol on to some kibbles would have yielded the desired cessation of the diarrhealogical infestation, though we here at DogBlogWatch encourage any affected Dogs and/or DogBloggers to investigate further.

dogs without blogs - a DogBlogWatch continuing series

DogBlogWatch is working to address the travesty that is dogs without blogs. here is part two of a DogBlogWatch continuing series on, well, dogs without blogs.


Name: Murray

Aliases: Mur-dog, M-Dog, Mur-Pup

Location: Thurston County

Pastimes: chasing squirrels; wrestling; eating peanut butter; farting; sniffing; running away from the big dude who feeds him; licking himself; walking while attached to ropes.

Best known for: allegedly peeing on Miss Lucy Loo (aka Miss Lucy Lush).

DogBlogWatch contacted Murray for an interview. Given the recent developments in Miss Lucy's alcoholic life, exposed exclusively by DogBlogWatch, we wanted to provide the opportunity for Murray to defend himself against the peeing allegations. Sources now tell DogBlogWatch that the Murray peeing on Miss Lucy incident could actually have been a case of Miss Lucy LUSH peeing on herself -- as a result of a drunken stupor, which given our reporting seems entirely possible.

As Murray is busy chasing squirrels, wrestling, eating peanut butter, farting, sniffing, running away from the big dude who feeds him, licking himself, walking while attached to ropes, he was unavailable for comment.

Instead, we will leave you a video of Murray seeing the rope he walks with.

Lucy Loo: Lovely Little Lady, or Libatious Lush?

DogBlogWatch.Blogspot.com can exclusively report to you, faithful readers, of a great rising concern in the dogblogosphere about the personal safety of one of the major players in the dogblog scene.

After several sources confided their concerns to the authors of DogBlogWatch, we knew our objective hearts and minds could not allow us to hold back the information any longer.

Simply put, Lucy Loo may have a drinking problem.

DogBlogWatch has received several photos of an incriminating nature. By all standard measures, Lucy is underage, meaning there is a crime for her not only to have alcohol, but also the person providing her with alcohol is guilty as well.

This photo shows what DogBlogWatch can only assume is the remnants of a drunken stupor .

One anonymous source told us about Lucy's attempt at stealing drinks at a public park:

"I was at the park downtown, by the wine store no less, and saw Lucy try to sip her way to happiness by attacking several open alcoholic beverages. She stumbled around and even fell face first into a couple of the other guests' plates of food. It was embarrassing for me, and for everyone there that night."

DogBlogWatch has also uncovered an image on Lucy's blog that may provide more insight to her self-destructive tendencies:

Here we see Lucy, sprawled about on the ground with an unnamed dog at the park. We leave it up to the reader to decide what is going on here.

If you have any information relating to alcohol/drug abuse by any DogBlog Dog, please contact The Great Duke or The Dainty Poodle. Your anonymity is assured.

a dogblogwatch exclusive: demonic breeding habits exposed

UPDATE: DID "MISS LUCY" RUN AWAY TO TEXAS? THERE HAS BEEN A CHUPACABRA SIGHTING.

webster's dictionary defines "puppy" as "a young dog." but if the dainty poodle were to write a dictionary, "puppy" would be defined as "a young dog. adorable. cuddly. heart melting."

the entry would be accompanied by this photo:

yet one of dogblogwatch.blogspot.com's sanctioned dogblogs (see the links on the right of your screen) seems to be chronicling the life of not a pitbull, lab mix as claimed, but rather a gremlin, chupacabra mix.

the apparent pitbull, lab mix

the chupacabra

here at dogblogwatch.blogspot.com we aim to simply report the facts, not draw any conclusions. the conclusions are drawn by you, our faithful readers.

Dogs Without Blogs: A DogBlogWatch.Blogspot Expose

We've received word that there are some dogs in the area that do not have blogs. After a thourough scouring of the local dog scene, we encountered one such dog, and sat down to interview him, to find out a little bit more about the world of blog-less dogs.

Name: Frank the Dog
Age: unknown, est. to be 3 years old
Location: Mason County
Pastimes: Tennis Ball chasing, couch sitting, walking while attached to ropes.

DBWDBS.COM: So Frank, tell us a little bit more about yourself:

Frank: (mouth agape, tounge draped over side of mouth)

DBWDBS.COM: Excuse me, Frank?

Frank: (now adjusting himself to lick his tail)

DBWDBS.COM: If you don't want to answer these questions, you shouldn't have agreed to the interview.

Frank: (begins to get up, head turning about rapidly while observing a fly buzzing around the room)

DBWDBS.COM: I take it you're not going to abide by the terms of our agreement.

[End of Interview]

Review of Audrey and Lucy at Devon's Birthday

Well, Friday was Devon's party, full of friends, food, and fun, but the real entertainment was to come from Audrey the Diva Gremlin, and Miss Lucy Loo.

While both dogs were in attendance, there seemed to be only one animal, as the two had merged into one flying ball of spit, fur, and gnarling teeth throughout the night.

Audrey arrived late, but quickly attempted to make up for it. She laid into Lucy like she was giving her the business. Since Lucy was on her home field, we the audience and authors of The Great Dog Blog Watch expected for her to remain advantageous throughout the night, but it wasn't so.


EVENT: DEVON'S BIRTHDAY BBQ

DOG 1: Lucy Loo
Entertainment: 6/10
Lack of Annoyance: 7/10
Ability to not run into neighbors yard: 0/10

DOG 2: Audrey
Entertainment 4/10
Lack of Annoyances: 6/10
Ability to not run into neighbors yard: 8/10


FINAL SCORE:
Lucy Loo: 13/30
Audrey: 18/30

EVENT WINNER:
Audrey